Being a fan holds a lot more responsibility than it looks.

I started in fifth grade when Wolf 88 was the national costume for K-pop stans like me. As I grew older, I slowly found my way home, with comfort songs from my turned-favorite artists that resonated well with me when words failed to speak on my behalf. Little by little, my shelf became covered with albums, photocards, and photobooks, and I saw it as a beautiful swarm of butterflies.

As the web and social media grew and matured, so did fandoms, including those I care about. It felt surreal, almost as if I could directly interact with my idols without having the need to buy every fan goodie and concert ticket available. However, it is also a double-edged sword. It’s chaotic and uncontrollable, to the point of erasing lines between famous figures’ professional and personal lives until it puts them on a chokehold as if their entire life is akin to The Truman Show.

Fandoms are not only limited to celebrities and idols; they can also be devoted to movie characters, athletes, and even fanfiction. While fandoms should be “stress-free” communities where fans can share common interests, they could also turn into spaces of competition, obsession, and false entitlement.

Aggressive hate trains

(Screenshot from Inkigayo (1991))

Fan wars are nothing new. We’ve seen everyone’s favorites being pitted against each other—from 2NE1 and Girls’ Generation to NewJeans and ILLIT— and unfortunately, it also happens to members of the same group, like Miss A’s silent feud. Let’s face it: the media has a role to play in it, fueling something that seems to have no gray areas to begin with.

Being in a fandom sometimes makes some of us think that our favorites are far superior to others. Fans worship them. They can never do anything wrong. And they fight those who say anything mean against them.

Ironically, fan wars happen not only between fans and haters; they are at their most intense among toxic fans from different fandoms. A study shows that fans have an emotional investment in their idols, feeling deeply connected with them, which urges them to be defensive and protective even if it requires aggressive behavior towards haters and fans of other celebrities.

While it purely looks like avid fans are protecting their respective idols, what's in it for them when they aggressively engage with hate trains?

Social media has become an avenue for sharing feelings and updates and creating online communities. With shared enthusiasm and adoration for their idols, fandoms create a sense of connectedness and community, which may eventually turn toxic. The distance and anonymity—oftentimes in the guise of role-play accounts—made possible by these platforms prompt fans to become detached from real-world consequences, thus embodying toxic behaviors like cyberbullying and harassment.

This unwanted aggressive behavior manifests through relentless hateful verbal attacks, gossip, ad hominem slurs, and even threats intended to ostracize an individual. Unfortunately, peace talks mostly hold no bigger deal. But what’s scarier is when this so-called protective nature becomes an obsession that’s hard to cure.

Admiration to obsession

(Photo from Lovely Runner (2024))

They say that there’s a fine line between love and hate. Clearly, admiration and obsession have blurred lines too.

Sasaeng (a.k.a obsessive fans) is a South Korean term used to describe someone who invades idols’ and celebrities’ privacy, such as when an obsessive fan harassed EXO’s D.O. so much to the point that they sold his underwear online. Or when SEVENTEEN’s Hoshi called out those so-called fans who kept calling his phone during a livestream.

The sad reality is that sasaeng fans are universal. There’s even a time when creepy One Direction fans hacked into security cameras, including one on a random elevator, to get a peek of their personal lives outside the stage. The late Liam Payne, who was a member of the band, also tweeted his experience of catching someone forcing him to open his balcony door.

Obsessed fans exhibit no respect not only for their idol’s personal space but, it seems, also for others’ personal lives. It’s like they don’t know basic human decency, like when fans showed up to Brentman Rock’s house uninvited to take pictures of his family during his dad’s wake. Not to mention, fans feel entitled to their idol’s personal life to the point of controlling their dating choices.

This is no longer love or respect. It’s a sickening obsession, stemming from an unhealthy attachment. Celebrity worship refers to an extreme attachment to a celebrity. As the absorption-addiction model explains, while most individuals seek out information about media personalities for entertainment, those who lack a solid sense of identity may attempt to make up for these shortcomings by obsessing over details about their favorite celebrity. This may help individuals solidify their identities in the short term. However, similar to an addiction, these people may grow tolerant of the absorption they feel and be forced to go to greater lengths in search of information about their favorite celebrity, leading to obsession and dysfunctional behavior.

Famous personalities experience this kind of treatment where they’re treated like animals in a circus to satisfy one’s obsession. This extreme attachment goes as far as turning their idol’s grave into a tourist attraction. This kind of parasocial relationship is too complex and problematic to the point that they feel entitled to be part of their idols’ lives, like they owe them everything.

They’re humans too

(Photo from F(x) Wiki)

Singers, bands, celebrities (and the roles they portray), among others, release us out of the dreadful dregs of life. They are our lights who inspire us to live another day—be it to hear their new songs, see the next episode, or to just be an enthusiast of their craft and achievements. But let us remember to be true, respectful fans. Everyone can worship their idols, but let’s draw the line at disrespect and invasion of privacy.

Fans alike should rely on one another to foster a space for their shared interest and love and respect for our niches. Everyone should recognize that they represent their favorite media personalities. Taking the moral high ground is for their benefit (also for their idols), which also includes shunning petty catfights.

Ultimately, no one deserves to walk in this world full of funeral wreaths, especially when they did nothing wrong but share their craft with those who appreciate it. This shows that basic human decency really isn’t learned in classrooms, and is not easily picked up from streets.

If the world is cruel to us, what more for them?