If you want to know how my college life went, don’t ask for my grades. Ask for my playlist.

Over the past four years, music has been more than just background noise for me. It has been my lifeline, a way to cope with the chaos and capture the emotions that words couldn’t always express. Every song I looped during these past four years holds a different version of me, each one wrestling with a different phase of college life.

Here is a carefully curated playlist of the eight most defining tracks of my journey. From emo anthems and ballads to dance floor-ready bangers and motivational K-pop tunes, this playlist is as chaotic and unpredictable as college itself. But through it all, each track became an unwritten diary entry that mapped the messy but beautiful story of who I was and who I was becoming.

Press play for a musical recap of my college years—from the tears, triumphs, and everything in between. Feel free to dance, reflect, or simply vibe along—wherever the music takes you.

1. “On My Way” – Phil Collins

(Photo from Phil Collins)

This Phil Collins classic was the song that scored my beginning. I entered college like I was setting off for the grandest adventure of my life yet. After all, I got into my dream school and was taking up a program I’ve always been passionate about. Everything felt bright and possible, and I couldn’t wait to see what lay ahead.

Collins’ warm, uplifting voice, coupled with sunny guitar strums, creates a sweeping sense of adventure that makes me ecstatic to take the leap, positive I’ll reach great heights. Blasting this during orientation week, I felt like the main character in the opening scene of a coming-of-age movie: hopeful, bright-eyed, and ready to face whatever the world—or rather UST—had in store for me. “Tell everybody I’m on my way,” I’d sing along, beaming with optimism. “New friends and new places to see / With blue skies ahead / Yes, I'm on my way.”

In that moment, I really believed it. And maybe that belief was what carried me forward.

2. “Ain’t It Fun” – Paramore

(Photo from Paramore)

The early days sparkled with that radiant freshman glow—everything felt new and exciting. First semester felt like a breeze: the subjects came easy, I was making new friends, I got lots of flat unos, and there was that magical thrill of feeling like I was about to become the best version of myself after entering the grand chapter of college. I thought, “Hey, maybe I’m built for this. I’m nailing it!”

But then came the plot twist that was the second semester. Suddenly, the classes got harder. I began struggling in quizzes, getting overwhelmed by tasks, and being drained by the online classes setup. The initial excitement that once lit my days started to fade. I was hit by the reality that college wasn’t going to be a montage of euphoria and self-discovery. It was meant to be messy. And worse, I found myself braving the storm alone, wrestling with the fear that I wasn’t cut out for this after all.

That’s when “Ain’t It Fun” entered the soundtrack. This sharp, funky Paramore banger felt like a reality check I very much needed. “Ain’t it fun living in the real world? / Ain’t it good being all alone?” Hayley Williams sings in a snarky voice, as if smirking at me and mocking my naive hopes for college being a feel-good movie. The song’s sardonic lyrics, juxtaposed against an energetic, upbeat arrangement, were a jarring reminder: I was in the real world now. Things weren’t always going to be easy or gratifying—but that’s exactly what made them real.

And somehow, I found comfort in that. The song didn’t exactly offer assurance or hope, but it challenged me to stop expecting things to get easier and find my own way through it all.

3. “this is me trying” – Taylor Swift

(Photo from Taylor Swift)

“Ain’t It Fun” gave me the kick I needed to face the reality called college, but the worst was yet to come. By sophomore year, the energy I had as a freshman had completely dissipated into inexplicable exhaustion. Zoom meetings drained me more than they used to, and I kept losing motivation to accomplish my tasks. I’d spend hours looking at the Notes app on my iPad, waiting for my draft to come together, but nothing would come out.

Even as I reminded myself of my goal to get Latin Honors, I still couldn’t push myself. I began getting test scores that barely crossed the passing mark, and my performance tasks dipped in quality too. Each disappointing result seemed to whisper, “You could’ve done better.”

Most days, I couldn’t help but compare my sophomore self to the old, high school version of me—the achiever who once had so much passion and obtained straight A’s with ease. That contrast stung deeply, and I despised myself for losing my way.

It was in this slump that Taylor Swift’s “this is me trying” made its way onto my playlist—and it couldn’t have come at a better time. Swift’s slow-paced, introspective dream pop tune fit my predicament like a glove. With lines such as “I had the shiniest wheels, now they’re rusting” and “I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere,” Swift captures the raw, painful realization that the competent and passionate version of myself had already started slipping away.

The song’s haunting melody and vulnerable lyrics echoed my exhaustion and despair, but it also reminded me that trying—even as challenges get the best of me—is still something. As Swift stresses toward the end of the song, “At least I’m trying.” It wasn’t exactly a resolution, but it was something to hold onto—an assurance that effort doesn’t always need to look like success. Sometimes, just surviving is already a remarkable victory.

4. “ANTIFRAGILE” - LE SSERAFIM

(Photo from Source Music)

Junior year, as many Thomasians could attest, is infamously the hardest. And it was. From having mostly general education subjects in the previous two years, we were suddenly hit with an all-at-once onslaught of major subjects. Thus, workload piled higher than ever, deadlines came faster, and expectations soared. On top of all that, this period marked our return to face-to-face classes—something I initially struggled to adjust to after years of remote learning.

But strangely enough, it was also the best. After everything I’d gone through, something in me had shifted. I was shining. I don’t know how it happened; it just did. I only realized it when I caught myself doing tasks without getting demotivated and acing assessments again, even getting the highest marks in class.

Moreover, I was looking forward to my readings—a feeling I hadn’t known in a long time. And then came the shower of flat unos that I’ve missed so much. The pressure was still there, but I faced it with determination rather than dread.

I was so back.

One song that constantly fueled my drive throughout the grind was “ANTIFRAGILE” by LE SSERAFIM. It’s punchy, energizing, and powered by lyrics about resilience, which mirrors how I felt as I got my momentum back. “Now you know my name / I'm antifragile, antifragile,” I’d chant along to the booming reggae beats, feeling like I was the strongest, ready to prove myself after just coming from a hardship. The song didn’t just hype me up; it reminded me of the strength I had just reclaimed. It inspired me to keep pushing forward, even as obstacles threatened to shake me again—because I’m antifragile.

5. “Wasted Nights” – ONE OK ROCK

(Photo from ONE OK ROCK)

Amid the hectic grind of junior year, I came to a crucial realization: college life shouldn’t just be about grades and accomplishments.

Since my freshman year, I had been pressuring myself to stay productive and achieve a lot that I forgot to breathe. Then one day, it hit me: the spontaneous food trips around UST, the late-night exchange of memes, and the simple comfort of being around the people who made me feel seen—these were the moments that made me feel alive.

And so, I decided to make the most of them. I became more active in group chats I once put on mute, and I stopped turning down invites to hangouts, ditching the classic “I have backlogs” excuse. I began to see time with friends not as distractions but as memories in the making.

“Wasted Nights” by ONE OK ROCK became my background song for those fleeting flashes of joy. Explosive and anthemic, the electropop banger is a cry to live life to the fullest. “Let’s live like we’re immortal / Maybe just for tonight / We’ll think about tomorrow, yeah / When the sun comes up,” Taka belts out with cathartic intensity, reminding me to forget about the deadlines—even just for a while—and simply live in the moment.

These seemingly small memories—the shared meals, the laughter, and the feeling of belonging—mattered just as much as any academic achievement. The friendships I build, the joy I let in, and the ordinary nights that turn into unforgettable memories are part of the success, too. They are treasures I shouldn’t waste.

6. “Cheers to youth” – SEVENTEEN

(Photo from Pledis Entertainment)

Upon entering the first semester of senior year, I thought I’d finally have everything figured out. I thought I’d be confident, put-together, and wiser than before. After all, I just had my academic comeback in my third year. But to my surprise, I still fumbled. I still faltered on some assessments and got overwhelmed by tasks. I still made stupid little mistakes, each one echoing that familiar whisper: “You could’ve done better.”

I couldn’t understand why someone who had already spent four years in college would still slip up. But then, SEVENTEEN’s “Cheers to youth” kept playing in the background, softly reminding me of a truth I had started to forget: it’s my first time living this life, too.

Sung by the group’s Vocal Unit—Woozi, Jeonghan, Joshua, DK, and Seungkwan—this vibrant, anime-esque pop rock anthem tackles the messiness and uncertainty of everyday life and inspires listeners to find strength in spite of it all. As the quintet stresses throughout the song, “It just so happens we’re facing today for the first time.” Because it’s our first time navigating the chaos of life, we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves when we make mistakes or fall short of our own expectations.

Just because I’m already a college senior doesn’t mean I have to be flawless. Just like everyone else, I’m still weathering the twists and turns of life. I’m still learning and unlearning, falling and getting back up, and moving forward, one step at a time. And that’s more than enough.

7. “Lucky Girl Syndrome” – ILLIT

(Photo from Belift Lab)

And then, just like that, the final semester came. The finish line was in sight, yet nothing about it felt final. If anything, I felt more uncertain than ever. What if I messed up right before the end? What if I didn’t get Latin Honors after all these years of hard work? I wanted to feel confident, but the final courses were tougher than I thought, and the pressure to do my thesis right was quietly wrecking me.

So I did what any student on the brink of uncertainty would do: I started manifesting my way through it. And Lucky Girl Syndrome by ILLIT became my daily mantra.

The bubbly, confident energy of the song, lifted by ILLIT’s soft, dreamy voices, always felt like a ball of sunshine that easily melted away the doubts and fears in my head. As the members proclaim, “Yeah, I’m a lucky girl, / Yeah you’re a lucky girl, / Yeah, we’re so lucky,” I found myself believing that things are going to work out in my favor. As silly as it sounds, playing the song feels like casting a spell that summons luck on my side. Hence, I’d blast it in my headphones as I walked around the UST campus, kicking off my last college adventures with its infectious optimism.

I didn’t know if I’d get the honors. I didn’t know if everything would go according to plan. But Lucky Girl Syndrome taught me to hope, trust in the process, and believe in myself—even when it all felt uncertain.

8. “Dog Days Are Over” – Florence + The Machine

(Photo from Florence + The Machine)

Capping off this playlist very fittingly is the iconic Florence + The Machine hit, “Dog Days Are Over.”

I first heard this song in theaters when I watched Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023). I remember being overjoyed seeing the characters I’ve loved get their happy endings, with Florence Welch’s powerful, cinematic vocals soaring in the background. That moment stuck with me, not just because of the Guardians, but because of the idea that even after all the struggles, it is possible to get the happy endings we deserve.

And now, it was my turn to have one.

I blasted the song the exact moment I submitted my final requirement and realized it was finally over. The lyrics “the dog days are over” played loud and clear, soundtracking the end of a messy but beautiful chapter. After years of traversing the ups and downs of college, I could finally breathe. All the burnout, the sleepless nights, and the quiet breakdowns all led to this: a moment of peace and release.

I wasn’t the same person who first stepped into this university with ambition and certainty. I was someone who had stumbled, fallen, gotten back up, and kept going anyway.

As Welch belts out, “Leave all your love and longing behind / You can’t carry it with you if you want to survive,” I thought of my regrets—things I wish I’d done better and things I wish I hadn’t done at all. But like the song emphasizes, I can’t move forward if I keep carrying such regrets. Thus, I set them down.

Maybe I didn’t get the picture-perfect college experience I once dreamed of. But I got something better: growth. Despite the dog days that haunted my college life, I held on. I picked myself up and only emerged stronger each time. I’ve learned a lot from every battle I faced. That is a triumph I will carry with me forever.

And in that moment, with the music blaring on the speakers and my heart beaming with pride, I finally let go.

The dog days really are over.