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Literary

Anong Pinaghuhugutan Mo?

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MARAHIL ay magkakaroon talaga ng pagkakataon sa buhay ng mga kabataan na magagawa nilang maipahayag ang kanilang saloobin sa pamamagitan ng mga napapanahong social media accounts o ang mas kilala natin bilang “hugot”. Bawat isa nga sa atin, may love life man o wala ay may napagdaanang masakit na karanasan na kinakailangan ng hugot. Siguro ay humuhugot ka dahil pakiramdam mo ay sawi ka; ngunit sa kahit ano pa mang dahilan ang mayroon ka, ang hugot ay isa sa pinakasikat na paraan upang ipahayag ang iyong damdamin. Kadalasang makakakita ng post tungkol sa #hugot sa Twitter o sa Facebook dahil kung mas marami ang nakakaunawa o nakaka-relate sa iyo, mas masarap sa pakiramdam. Patunay nga ito ng isang kasabihang, “Misery loves company.

Heto ang lima sa mga pinakatanyag na #hugot na mahahanap mo sa Internet:

  1. Rejection hugot

Deadma ka ba kay crush? O ‘di kaya naglakas-loob ka pang kausapin siya at ang sinagot niya lang sa iyo, “Sorry, I’m not interested”? Ito ang hugot mo kapag ni-reject ka – isa sa pinakamasakit at pinakatagos-sa-pusong hugot.

Matamis mong oo lang ang hinihingi ko kanina, pero bakit mo ako sinabihan ng “hindi”?

  1. Kasawian

Single at walang ka-mingle? Namimiss mo ba ang pakiramdam na may karelasyon? Ang hugot para sa iyo ay ito.

Lahat kayo puro “cuddle weather” pero ang ka-cuddle ko lang unan ko.  

  1. The Past hugot

Minsan, hindi man sinasadya ay nagugunita mo ang mga nakalipas na pangyayari kasama na rin ang ibang tao na maaaring iniwan ka o ikaw naman ang nang-iwan. Gayunpaman, mahirap makalimutan ang mga taong naging malaki ang impluwensya sa buhay mo. Kung wala sila, malamang ay hindi ka rin makararating sa kinaroroonan mo ngayon – hindi ka mahuhubog sa kung sino ka man ngayon.

Hindi kita dapat isipin, pero anong gagawin ko kung ayaw mong umalis sa isipan ko? Nariyan pa ang sikat na mga katagang “It’s hard to forget someone, who gave you so much to remember.

  1. Paghihintay

Ganito ang pinaghuhugutan mo kapag matagal ka nang single at parang bang naiinip ka na sa pagdating ng “The One” mo.

Hanggang kailan pa ba ako maghihintay? Kailan ka darating para makapagsimula na ang buhay ko? 

  1. Hugot kasi trip mo

Hindi ka nagdaramdam ngunit nais mo lang maki-ride sa trip ng iba. Kaya hugot ka lang ng hugot at ayos lamang sa iyo kahit maging katatawanan pa ng iba.

Binuhos mo na ang lahat, ayun pala naka-drain. Sayang lang effort mo. #WashingMachineFeels

 

Tunay ngang ang #hugot ay patunay rin ng pagkamalikhain ng ating henerasyon. Iba-iba man tayo ng paraan ng pagpapakita ng ating saloobin, ang mahalaga ay alam natin na mayroon ding nakakaunawa ng mga bagay na ating pinagdadaanan at palagi lamang nakahandang pakinggan at suportahan tayo kahit sa pamamagitan ng like, comment, share, favorite at retweet pa. Ikaw, ano ba ang pinaghuhugutan mo?

 

Kuha ni Shelley Ann Badayos

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Literary

Confession

It creeps up on me when I eat, when I am sitting in the living room, when I am about to sleep.

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Artwork by Patricia Jardin

To rest is a sin.

In the quiet moments of this new sheltered life, I have come to accept that there is a small dark corner of my mind where all the dates of the calendar are marked. From the first week of April, to the last week of May—it’s all there. It is a small dark corner. It creeps up on me when I eat, when I am sitting in the living room, when I am about to sleep.

This small dark corner reminds me everyday of what’s about to come. I explain that I’m not ready, that I need more time, that this is new territory and I haven’t taken a step further since I came here—it doesn’t listen to me. It tells me to get to work. It tells me that this is my priority, this is what matters the most in this worldwide pandemic. It forces me to listen, to do as it says, to be its puppet to be controlled with the numbers controlling my arms and legs.

But this is just a small dark corner of my mind. There are other corners. Much bigger corners.

To rest is a sin. 

I have yet to be forgiven. 

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Literary

Little Bit of Paradise

You try to breathe in the catastrophe as your thumb keeps scrolling and scrolling and scrolling until the end is reached, leaving a deep void that makes you unable to speak or act.

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Artwork by Patricia Jardin

You wake up to the sight of your room’s white ceiling. The summer heat makes your skin sweat immediately. Piled up papers stare at you from the corner of the room along with unpacked belongings from the dorm––ah, yes. You are home––earlier than expected but still, you succumb to this little bit of paradise.

You breathe in the familiarity of your bed sheet’s smell, let every caress of the fabric give comfort up until you check your phone.

Three hundred thirty-nine new cases. The death toll is now at 704. Recoveries at 1,842. The total is now at 10,610.

This little bit of paradise began to crumble from the inside. Like a volcano nearing to erupt. The summer heat began to burn not only the skin but also made its way into bones and flesh. Piled up papers began to yell, screaming for a continuation. Gentle caresses became tight grips with nails digging deeper into full palms.

You try to breathe in the catastrophe as your thumb keeps scrolling and scrolling and scrolling until the end is reached, leaving a deep void that makes you unable to speak or act.

You see posts from people staying up in their ivory towers while waving their flags of toxic positivity for all to see. You grit your teeth in disgust. The screen refreshes, showing heroes and people trying to survive from exhaustion and hunger.

This little bit of paradise of yours completely crumbles, leaving traces of guilt, fear,  and anger, all in one.

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Literary

Finding Courage

In this time, praying has become a refuge. There is solitude in knowing that you are being heard and that what you are feeling and thinking are valid.

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Artwork by Patricia Jardin

It’s nice to wake up with the thought of having food served on the dining table for the day. When you know that you have a home, your family beside you, and wondering what you will do for the rest of the day. Make Dalgona coffee? Bake? Read? Watch a new TV series? Finally finish your school work?

Watching the news has become a staple in the household. Seeing the cases increase, people helping one another, our frontliners making things easier for us, and the struggle of the people trying to make ends meet despite the difficult situation. Suddenly, watching the news brings tension, stress, and anxiety. 

In this time, praying has become a refuge. There is solitude in knowing that you are being heard and that what you are feeling and thinking are valid. It is okay to be scared in times like these but know that these too shall pass. Courage is hard to find these days but waking up and getting out of the bed is a progress. I hope you find the courage to go on day by day.

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