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Some of the Best by The Superficial Gazette of the Republic of the Philippines

There was a time, not so long ago (last year actually), that the ‘Official Gazette’ of the Republic commands respect.

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By Therese Claire Linatoc

There was a time, not so long ago (last year actually), that the ‘Official Gazette’ of the Republic commands respect. They were the go-to source of unadulterated facts about what’s really happening inside the hallowed halls of our government. They’re trusted, revered even.  Then everything went downhill fast. From historical revisionism to dubiously represented graph, the Official Gazette became the laughing stock of the whole thinking community.

Out of the ashes of incompetence rose the Superficial Gazette of the Republic of the Philippines. The page was controversial and sensational. It even blurs the line between facts and satire to some special set of people (free-data users).

The Superficial Gazette of the Philippines was created immediately after Official Gazette’s historical revisionism about the life and rule of the late President Ferdinand Marcos. The page quickly gained a huge following, garnering more than 35 thousand page likes after a little over a month of operation.

It challenges the popular beliefs of our society and delivers both scathing and humorous commentary to current events. You would need imagination and a bit of historical know-how to see past through their satire.

Here are just a few of some of their posts:

  1. Buy your plane tickets now, everyone! Before it’s too late.

The post:

“The Department of Tourism has uncovered the Philippines’ new tourism slogan, made better reflect the ideals and character of the Duterte Administration.”

 


wew

The Truth:

The Department of Tourism wants to go away with the popular “It’s More Fun in the Philippines” by 2017. Ina Zara-Loyola, Tourism media director, said that the department’s new direction would reflect the change that is currently happening in the country under the leadership of President Rodrigo Duterte. Considering the rise of unverified police killings and Duterte’s childish tirade against major political powers, it’s safe to assume that any foreigner’s first words upon arriving in our country would definitely be “Wow, [insert Duterte’s favorite expletive] naman this country.”

  1. Nothing can make your day any better than this.

The Post:

“Breaking News: On October 10, 2016, the National Anti-Poverty Commission sent “warm greetings” to Vice President Leni Robredo and Agot Isidro through its social media channels.”

kek

The Truth:

The official National Anti-Poverty Commission (NAPC) Facebook and Twitter account posted a controversial statement which reads, “Ang pagkakapareho ni Agot Isidro at VP Leni Robredo—takot silang magutom”. The post was hinting at the two females’ dislike of President Duterte’s continuing rants against the United States.   

  1. I would actually pay to see that

The Post:

BREAKING NEWS: President Duterte Says PH “Cannot Win” Panatag Shoal After Jetski Runs Out of Fuel

lel

The Truth:

Remember that time not so long ago, when all presidential candidates went on a *ehem* debate *ehem*. One fisherman asked then mayor Duterte what he will do, once president, so fishermen like him can once again freely roam part of the sea that is being claimed by China at the time. Keeping with the tradition of giving incoherent bravado-fueled response, Duterte answered that he will brave the waters of Panatag Shoal while riding a jet ski and clutching the Philippine Flag. If that’s not patriotism I don’t know what is.

  1. Where do I sign up for this program?

The Post:

“Due to to what he perceived as the weakening physical strength of Filiipinos, longest-serving President Ferdinand Marcos ordered the AFP to spread the ‘San Juanico Bridge’ throughout the country, an ‘exercise’ aimed at strengthening the body’s core muscles. The primary beneficiaries of the ‘exercise’ were around 70,000 Filipinos ‘enlisted’ under the government’s ‘Health and Wellness Program.’”

pep

The Truth:

Here’s how the ‘San Juanico Bridge’ torture works: the prisoner was made to lie with his head on one bed and his feet on a second bed, and was beaten and kicked whenever his body sagged or he fell. Imagine the pain as you simultaneously try to endure the beatings whilst straining your core muscles. That’s just one of the numerous “Health and Wellness Program” during Ferdinand Marcos’ regime.

 

  1. Sold at bookstores near you!

The Post:

“BREAKING NEWS: President Duterte to Release “Biography”

Communications Secretary Martin Andanar announced at a press briefing at Malacañan Palace that beloved President Rodrigo Duterte will be releasing a biography titled ‘Mein Kampfutangina,’ which is German for ‘My War On Drugs.’”

beb

The Truth:

Adolf Hitler wrote an autobiography title ‘Mein Kampf’ (My Struggle). It outlines his political ideologies and future plans for Germany.

It’s fitting that our lovely president has his own book since he nonchalantly justified the alarming increase in killings by comparing himself to the Führer. ‘Mein Kampfutangina’ comes with a reader’s guide, Yasay edition, Cayetano edition, Abella edition, Andanar edition, Panelo edition, and Uson edition because apparently you can never take Duterte’s words at face value.

Criticism is not some fancy, nefarious tool used by far-left individuals to take down the administration. It’s not fueled by “textbook yellow journalism” or media bias. Criticism is essential to keep the government on its toes. Complacently accepting mediocrity and incompetence in our government is not acceptable because it will affect the current and succeeding generations.

Superficial Gazette of the Republic of the Philippines’ existence and other pages like it highlight an alarming attitude in most Filipinos; their refusal to admit mistakes. Fine, maybe the USA is a huge imperialist opportunist and the UN is just a group of nosy world leaders but blatantly calling them out using profanities then immediately hiding behind lame excuses once things goes south? That doesn’t sound like a commendable leader.

 

Collage by Geneva Garcia

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13 “Mood” Tweets Celebrating UST’s Stepladder Win Against UP 

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The UST Growling Tigers were not alone in the celebration of their win against UP Fighting Maroons as the support of the whole Thomasian community was roaring from every University building and every nook of social media, especially Twitter. 

We compiled several tweets that express their congratulatory remarks in a creative way. 

1. UST CSC President Robert Gonzales tweeted a photo that shows a letter jokingly addressed to the Secretary General with the hope of suspending classes following game day. 

2. A tweet also explained the science behind the opponent’s failure to score a three-pointer.

3. Ah, yes. A self-degrading reply that explains why it isn’t science at all. 

4. Here’s some motivation gained from Subido’s clutch win! Way to go, Thomasians! 

5. The competition is not just between UST and Ateneo. 

6. Even Internet’s child, Scarlet Snow Belo, couldn’t pick one! 

7. Renzo Subido has swept not just the win, but also fans’ hearts. 

8. Honestly, we’re not offended. (paano_kapag_walang_class_chz.jpeg)

9. It doesn’t matter if you’re illiterate in the basketball language, as long as you cheer and support your team!

10. Indeed, the Growling Tigers strutted through opponents with a “tabi-dadaan-kami-attitude”. 

11. Whilom, who? Oh wait. It’s a word.

12. UST may have won against them, but their toilets are about to take a huge feat.

13. And of course, the classic Thomasian move: ghosting.

The fight is not over as the Growling Tigers try to hustle against Ateneo Blue Eagles in a best-of-three finals which commences this coming Saturday, November 16. 

Whether support will be shown by attending the game or by cheering for the winning team through convenient social media accounts, the Thomasian spirit will surely bleed through a swarm of blue.  

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Fighting Back, One ‘OK, Boomer’ at a Time

Just like the statement “men are trash,” the phrase “OK, boomer” is attacking a system rather than an individual. It challenges the mindset of the boomers that refuses to embrace change; ones who still cling to discriminatory remarks and outdated ideologies.

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It started as a TikTok meme. Then, a New Zealand lawmaker used it to address a rude comment in parliament.

The youth has often been the subject of judgment because of their tendency to be politically-correct and woke, especially from elders who view them as “overly-sensitive snowflakes.” 

What’s the youth’s response? “Ok, boomer.”

Recently, the phrase “OK, boomer” has been circulating around the internet, and has become the rallying cry of the youth against the older folks and the system they perpetuated over the years. 

The said phrase mocks baby boomers; the generation born between 1946 and 1964. The generation got its name from the huge increase in birth rate after World War II, and is considered as a prosperous time.

The popular use of the phrase circulates in TikTok where it is used to mock elders and their prejudices towards the youth. 

It became more popular when media outlets highlighted the term after Chlöe Swarbrick, a 25-year-old lawmaker from New Zealand was discussing the Zero Carbon Bill, which aims to cut the carbon emissions of New Zealand. In the video, a heckler commented about her age, in which she went off-script to retort “OK, Boomer.”

Netizens also used the phrase to call out the Department of Foreign Affairs Secretary Teddy Boy Locsin Jr. after cursing out a journalist on Twitter.

“OK, boomer,” later on became a perfect response to the generation on being problematic. An old, rich man complaining about millennials destroying everything? OK, boomer. An aunt of yours mocking your liberal arts degree, commenting on how easy it is? OK, boomer. Some random professor accusing you of being a “dilawan” and red-tagging you because of your Facebook posts? OK, boomer.

However, critics are crying foul over this phrase, with complaints mostly coming from older people. Some even compared the phrase to a racial slur, saying that it promotes ageism and discrimination. Critics think that it’s a below-the-belt attack against the boomers, a foul remark akin to bullying and racism. Well, sorry to say but it’s not.

To set the record straight, the boomers also fought for peace, racial equality and women’s empowerment at their time. What “OK, Boomer” addresses is not the people itself but their outdated way of thinking that is harming our society. 

Just like the statement “men are trash,” the phrase “OK, boomer” is attacking a system rather than an individual. It challenges the mindset of the boomers that refuses to embrace change; ones who still cling to discriminatory remarks and outdated ideologies. It wants boomers to  acknowledge that they have collectively done actions that contributed to societal issues such as climate change and worsening economy. It attempts to shake the narrative, making an older generation acknowledge the voice of the youth, making them act because they have the power and experience to do so.

This meme-worthy clapback is not just a collective sigh towards the problematic views of the old or a funny catchphrase hurled towards killjoy boomers—it is a statement, a call for action, a protest against problematic beliefs and actions.

It is a warning to the older that the kids aren’t alright and they are fighting back, one “OK, Boomer” at a time.

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Films to watch in Cinema One Originals 2019

Returning to cinemas and theaters on its 15th year, Cinema One Originals has launched its roster of films ranging from the genres of thriller, romance, and more! The film festival showcases various stories that will surely make the viewers’ minds wonder what lies beyond the trailers.

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Photo from Cinama One Originals Facebook page

Over the past decade, Cinema One Originals has given rise to a number of films that marked the hearts and minds of the Filipino. Through the artistry and expertise of Filipino filmmakers in cinematography and production, it has already showcased great films which became hit to the public like Imburnal (2008) by Sherad Anthony Sanchez, Violator (2014) by Eduardo Dayao, That Thing Called Tadhana (2014) by Antoinette Jadaone and Paki (2016) by Gian Carlo Abraham. These films have been lauded for its excellence, exception plots, and its appeal to viewers alike. 

Returning to cinemas and theaters on its 15th year, Cinema One Originals has launched its roster of films ranging from the genres of thriller, romance, and more! The film festival showcases various stories that will surely make the viewers’ minds wonder what lies beyond the trailers. So, Hurry up! Gather your friends now and buy your popcorn as Cinema One Originals proudly presents the following films for this year’s festival!

Tayo Muna Habang Hindi Pa Tayo by Denise O’Hara

Photo from Cinama One Originals Facebook page

Relevant to the relationship which the generation engages today, Tayo Muna Habang Hindi Pa Tayo portrays the relationship of two individuals who share sensual experiences and romantic gestures with each other. However, both of the characters in the film do not share the same sentiment when it comes to commitment. In the end, they both part ways in the realization that such intimacy cannot just be shared with just anyone.

Yours Truly, Shirley by Nigel Santos

Photo from Cinema One Originals Facebook page

 

After hearing a song by popstar Jhameson, Shirley is convinced that the popstar is a reincarnation of her late husband, Ronaldo. In the film, Shirley is seen to invest time and effort as she obsessively admires the popstar in the event of coping up with the pains and struggles of losing her beloved husband. 

Metamorphosis by J.E. Tiglao

Photo from Cinema One Originals Facebook page

Metamorphosis reveals not a lot but says so much in its trailer. As it depicts the metamorphosis of a butterfly, there is a teenager in the background showing its life on a daily basis. It tackles the life of an individual born with male and female genitals.  

Utopia by Dustin Celestino

Photo from Cinema One Originals Facebook page

Set in the dingy and dark parts of the city, Utopia depicts the meeting of a rookie police officer, vlogger, and an undercover agent as they try to uncover the delivery of dangerous and illegal substances. Utopia is about crime, thrill, wit and reality all in a perfect sandwich ready to keep you at the edge of your seat. 

O by Kevin Dayrit

Photo from Cinema One Originals Facebook page

Pleasant in the forms of the soft sweet piano songs, sleek sofas and white linens, O talks about the story of a beguiled morgue intern Maria who is forced by the vampire Matilda to be a blood pusher and sell blood to other vampires. Twisted and unconventional, Maria is driven to do vile actions to accumulate blood in exchange for knowledge about the creatures roaming in the dark. 

Tia Madre by Eve Baswel

Photo from Cinema One Originals Facebook page

Tia Madre takes in the form of a middle-aged woman who ardently loves her daughter. However, Emilia, the mother of a 10-year old girl, is a harboring alcoholic who abhors to be called a mother. Her daughter tries to compensate with her mother in the hopes that things will turn back to normal, as it should be.

Lucid by Natts Jadaone, Victor Villanueva, and Dan Villegas

Photo from Cinema One Originals Facebook page

Ann Cruz is a typical individual who leads a monotonous life. She works a nine to five job, goes home, and the cycle repeats. However, when she sleeps, she is not just the Ann Cruz in her waking life. At night, she is a lucid dreamer who goes on dates and engages in scenarios that favours her. She later on meets a man who challenges her to dream more than she does.

Sila-Sila by Gian Carlo Abraham

Photo from Cinema One Originals Facebook page

Sila-Sila is a coming-of-age film that tells a story of a 30-year old man who attempts to reconnect with his past friends and ex lovers in a class reunion. 

The screening of the eight films will run from November 7-17, 2019. Indeed, November is another exciting month for cineastes out there!

Photo from Cinema One Originals Facebook page

For the full list of screening schedules and further details, visit the Cinema One Originals Facebook page or their website regarding the event.

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