Let me give you a scenario. You see this guy walking down the hallway, all alone at a distance. Your eyes look at him as if he was walking towards you, about to say “Hello” in a voice like Hugh Jackman. Oh look, someone texted him. He stopped his tracks and paused in the hallway. Come on, girl, talk to him. Get his name. Wait, what? You’re anxious? Come on, it’s only one guy. I’m a guy and you’re talking to me so what’s the difference? Talk to him already! Get to know him! Wait, you can’t? How come? What do you mean you’re shy? Oooh, I see now.
His looks attract you, don’t they? And you desire to be beside him, right? You know what this means? You have a crush on that guy. Hey, it happens to the rest of us.
Perhaps you girls had your eye on that baby-faced guy who likes Korean music, or that chubby guy who’s always wearing a jacket. Perhaps you guys had your eye on that girl who looks like an angel with red hair, or a simple girl with several pimples.
Everyone has a crush on at least one person. Admit it; it’s alright to have a crush on someone. It’s perfectly natural. We’re only human; we have the desire to like a certain person in a different way. They are our “beloved”, using a literary term in this sense. But in a way, we want to be loved by our beloved.
But what exactly is a crush anyway? WordWeb dictionary defines “crush” as “temporary love of an adolescent”. Well, not just adolescents actually. Even adults have that but they probably use a different word for it because crush sounds a little immature. Usually, if Friends and How I Met Your Mother are to be believed, adults would say “I’m in love with you.”
My friends would tell me “Uy, Ralph, crush ko siya o!” while pointing to a guy in the distance. Wait a minute. Let’s use syllogism here: You have a crush on this particular guy, a crush is a “temporary love.” Ergo, you love that particular guy. Wait, what? But you personally don’t know the guy you’re pointing to. So how could you have strong feelings for him? You just like him for his looks or some special skill he does, right?
Perhaps “infatuation” can be the appropriate term here. Infatuation is defined by WordWeb as “A foolish and usually extravagant passion, love or admiration.” You admire the guy for his looks, or his skills but you really do not know his personality. My friend Joyce gave me the term “distant admiration” for those who are infatuated with a certain person they do not know.
Now, a crush is just developing feelings for someone. It’s natural; you can’t force yourself to have a crush on someone. That’s not how it works – a crush usually fades away. It’s not like anyone says: “I’ve fallen in ‘crush’ with you,” because a crush is temporary. The not-so-popular website, Tumblr, has mentioned that a crush usually lasts 4 months, beyond that, you’ve fallen in love.
For instance, I have a friend and a classmate of mine. We chat about things, we help each other out, we text each other. I like her personality. But then, for no particular reason, I think about her and how lovely she is no matter how hard I try to stop. She was light-years away from looking like a model but her looks didn’t matter to me.
One downside is that you might not stop thinking about that person. This usually happens to us hopelessly romantic people, no matter what you do, you’ll be thinking about that person more often than you expected. Whenever you hear a song like “A Thousand Miles” or “When You Say Nothing At All”, your mind just can’t stop and you’re now a little ecstatic whenever you imagine that person you like.
The sick desire for togetherness – when you’ve developed feelings for someone, you’d want to be together all the time. I could remember last summer – I had a crush on girl and we spent the last day of our summer classes just walking around UST, talking to each other.
Anyway, what you want is the emotional connection. You want to be with that person you like because you want them to like you back as well.
Well, that actually is alright when the time and the situation between you two are right. Like I said before, a crush is temporary but it doesn’t mean that you can just tell someone you have a crush on them unless you want things to be awkward between you two, especially if you two are friends.
Remember when I said that most adults wouldn’t use “crush” when they have feelings for someone? Well, they would rather use “I think I’m in love with you” or something to that effect. “Love” is a strong word to be used on someone.
So, let’s review, some of the downsides of having a crush and taking it too seriously: uncontrollable thinking, a sick desire for togetherness, and an intense urge to confess. If you can’t handle these side effects, try not to develop your crush too much. Don’t take it too seriously and you’ll be healthy.
By: Raphael De Las Alas